Yesterday as I slogged through endless emails I had an idea for a new App – The BizMail Translator.

It could be embedded at the bottom of web pages as a service like a URL shortener. It would have to be a smart app to constantly adjust to changing management speak and would probably have to be a Wiki so contributors could help us stay on top of paradigm-shifting communication advances in the field of organizational management.

Examples of translations:

  • “Sorry for the confusion…” >>> “Next time read the damn email before you reply…”
  • “Thanks for understanding…” >>> “Tough luck Chuck!”
  • “To follow up on our telephone conversation…” >>> “You cover your ass, I’ll cover mine.”
  •  “You mentioned you didn’t get this email…” >>> “Since you’re not in the loop…”
  • “Just a reminder about the meeting…” >>> “Since you never freakin’ answer…”
  • “I appreciate your attention to this matter…” >>> “NOW! I need this NOW! Five minutes ago!”
  • “I hope I captured the tenor of our conversation…” >>> (see cover your ass above)

Additional examples welcome.

Best regards,


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