Gag Reflex

I have been on a months long quest to figure out how to better interact with a person who is driving me up the wall with passive-aggressive behavior while also developing “my personal career plan”. At first these seemed like separate tasks, but they converged pretty quickly.

As is my habit I dove into piles of books on psychological profiling, enhanced communication and other equally sexy topics. A am very predictable when faced with any problem or question – first, find a book.

While the overload of material has yielded thought-provoking tangential information like the the book “Your Erotic Personality”, the real find was “The Essential Enneagram: The Definitive Personality Test and Self-Discovery”. I had read Enneagram work years ago under more hippy-dippy, Tom Robbins, Huxley-ish circumstances and thought it had some interesting insights.

The Enneagram’s non-scientific para-psychology is about as applicable to my current position as consulting astrological charts before scheduling a meeting.

The noteworthy thing about the personality book was the analysis for personal development for my type, which is by the way, Type One: Perfectionist, in case that needed to be made explicit. The goal for my personal development boils down to cease and desist all the personal development.

That would make me…a Project Manager without a Project! Sputter, sputter!

To say this was hard to swallow would be an understatement. All the usual highlights “…too much work and too little play…excess personal responsibility”… blah blah blah, heard it all before. But the notion that I get in my own way by trying to improve myself boggles the mind. Trying on the concept that I am fine as is and maybe I don’t need to master another topic, created instant anxiety so there must be a kernel of truth.

Rather than chucking this idea immediately I am going to, temporarily and with great prejudice, try to control my gag reflex and attempt to master my impulse to fix it/improve it/learn it/apply it. Please Note: This is an “at-will agreement” not subject to arbitration or external lobbying.

Enneagram chart for your edification.gnostic-circle-enneagram