I am the swearing mommy, I confess.

I have been managing my impulse to use profanity with mixed results since my daughter was born. Driving is especially difficult and I was sure her first words would be “WTF!?!”

Swearing while driving remains a challenge.

During car pool one day last summer I reacted badly to being cut off in the drop off line by a massive SUV who pulled in at an angle blocking two rows of cars. I said loudly and reflexively – “What a f***ing cow!” – only to have one of the kids I was driving say “Where? I don’t see a cow.”

A better person would have been embarrassed. A calmer person would have apologized for her temper.

I however, explained to the questioning child that cows often drive shiny Escalade’s when they live in the suburbs. It’s just that their windows are tinted because they are Very Important and don’t want anyone to recognize them.

Children who visit our house are used to me always having baked goods handy and swearing like a sailor. Hopefully they think its colorful or edgy or something and don’t tell their parents. I would hate to be considered a bad influence on anyone except my own kid.

Reduced stress + Less driving = Decreased swearing.

I know the formula, I just need to stock up on the ingredients.